Preggers

I wrote this post last fall, while I was still pregnant.


I found out I was pregnant in June of 2013. My husband was working that night, and I was home alone, trying to study for my upcoming personal trainer's certification. I was late, which has happened before, but I could not stop thinking about being pregnant.  I was completely unable to concentrate on what I was supposed to be studying. After awhile I decided I should just go buy a pregnancy test at the dollar store. That way, it wouldn't be a waste of money when I found out I wasn't really pregnant. We weren't trying to get pregnant yet. 'll spare you the details of why I was so sure I couldn't be pregnant.

On the way to the dollar store I kept telling myself that it was stupid, that there was no way. I go in the store, and there are no tests. I thought about just going home, but since I'd already left the house, I figured I might as well just go to Wal-mart and get one. I buy the cheapest one they have and I go home. I read the directions thoroughly (it was hard to think straight, ok?) I took the test and waited for it to appear negative. Longest three minutes of my life. A small cross started to appear but it was pretty blurry. I thought it was negative but there was just enough of that cross to make me go back to Wal-mart for an easier to read digital test. I bought a two pack and took one when I got back home.

 "Pregnant."

Is this happening? This isn't happening.

I googled the brand of test and read over 30 reviews. So many women said they got a false positive with this test! Oh, that's what must have happened to me. Although, the cross on the first test was a lot clearer at this point. I decided to just go to bed and take another test, a more expensive test, in the morning. Only I couldn't sleep. What if I was pregnant? After an hour of laying there, I just decided to take some Zzzquil. I remember wondering for a second if it was safe for pregnancy, but the idea still seemed so abstract to me. I finally fell asleep after I set my alarm for early the next morning so that I would have time to get up and shower and go to Wal-mart for the third time in 12 hours, all before Kelly came home from work.

I got up and took the second of the digital two-pack from the night before, while I told myself that it probably wasn't valid (I'm kind of dumb). It was positive. I was slightly more convinced but I still needed to go get a better brand, with better google reviews. I went back to Wal-mart and bought a two-pack with one of the line tests, and one digital one. A second pink line appeared, and I finally started to accept it. I waited half an hour and took the last one.  The digital one was positive as well. Ok, I'm pregnant.

Kelly was supposed to be home within an hour. I was freaking out, I wished he would just hurry up and get home! I was pacing all over the apartment, trying to distract myself by cleaning. Then he texts me, and says that he had a meeting after his shift, and that he will be an hour later than expected. Of all the days for this to happen!

I just sat on the couch to wait in silence, and finally the front door opens. He asks why the front door is unlocked, I had left it unlocked after my trip to Wal-mart.

"I'm pregnant."

His face lit up and then he jumped on me. He was excited and I was trying not to cry. I didn't want to be pregnant that soon, we'd only been married for two months! I remember when we started to tell people, I felt like I should include the fact that it wasn't on purpose. It was stupid. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing about how it happened. I'm thrilled to be having a baby, and I am constantly amazed at the fact that there is a life growing inside me. It's a miracle. It happens all the time, but it is a miracle.