These two kids

I have to blog on my phone these days, we just sold our computer. And honestly, I'd probably be too lazy to go sit at it and type when I can chill in bed while the kids nap. Blogging on my phone sucks though because I can't add pictures. How boring. And the mobile site for blogger is crappy and it's hard to scroll through and edit what I've written. So I don't. There used to be a blogger app for iPhones but apparently they deleted it. 

ANYWAYS, having two kids is hard. Everyone reading this that has more than one kid is like, duh. 🙄 People told me it would be, but I thought to myself that Quinn was a really good girl and she usually listens and this baby won't be as hard as she was because I know what I'm doing more this time. Well, no. Quinn is still a good girl but she gets sassy when we don't pay attention to her. Those first few weeks I felt like a horrible mom because I was sending her to her room like 20 times a day because she wouldn't be quiet while I was trying to get Jameson to sleep. I had to get him to sleep or else he would get over tired and then I would be even more tired and grumpy the next day from getting up a million times in the night. Not a million but like three. And Quinn kept waking up at 6:00 am. He kept cat napping during the day so it felt like I'd spend my whole day rocking him to sleep and getting mad at Quinn for waking him up. 

He sleeps better now and takes longer naps. And Quinn is learning to be a little quieter. The "sound sleeper" app is a huge help. It plays the blow dryer sound which puts him to sleep pretty quickly. And blocks out noise from Quinn that might startle him. As soon as he starts to yawn after he eats I swaddle him and start rocking him in the rocking chair. He stays awake but relaxed for 10-20 minutes and then he drifts off to sleep. He occasionally surprises me with a few 4 hour stretches of sleep at night. He was consistently waking up around 4:30 in the morning and then getting really restless but we put room darkening curtains up two nights ago and that has helped. He doesn't cry a whole lot, but he does make a lot of noise in his sleep. He grunts and squeaks. I don't even know how he makes the sounds he does. Sometimes he sound like what I imagine a baby seahorse might sound like. Actually, I am pretty sure seahorse don't make noise but that's what I think of. 

When he was two weeks old, I was feeding him one day and Quinn decided to poop her pants at the same time. 

Another day, he pooped while I was changing his diaper and it shot all over the changing table. I asked Quinn to bring me a plastic grocery bag from the kitchen. I didn't know if she knew where they were, but sometimes she surprises us. She brought me a big liner for the kitchen garbage. Then Jameson peed all over the wall. I told her to take the big bag back and get me a small one from the kitchen. She leaves and then I hear her grunting and struggling before she comes back in the room carrying the very full kitchen garbage can! I just laughed. Then she knocked it over. I laughed again and we got everything cleaned up with no permanent damage done to the carpet. 

Quinn really likes her baby brother. She calls him "jamis" lol. Or "baby brother" or "little man." Yesterday she tried to put her toys in his mouth. I told her not to put things in his face so she puts her toys around him. She tries to pick him up which is terrifying so I can't leave them alone together. One of both of them is always in the bathroom with me while I shower. 

Quinn is very girly. Her favorite colors are pink and purple. Her favorite outfit is her red Minnie Mouse shirt and a purple skirt. Color blocking is in, right? She has purple crocs that she loves and is always quick to tell strangers that she has purple shoes. Her toenails are purple and she gets sad when the paint chips off. The first time I painted toenails she didn't want to wear socks for like a month when before, she had always insisted on wearing them to bed because we had just bought her some new ones. She wraps random things around her like towels and blankets and says that she is a princess. I didn't even know she knew what a princess was. She's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. We have a picture of the Seattle temple hanging in our family room. Quinn looked at it the other day and pointed at the angel Moroni at the top and said "he can't get down... He needs a mouse-ka-tool." When things aren't working right or she needs help she tells us she needs a mouse-ka-tool. She loves bows and flowers. She likes to play in her pool in the backyard. I put her little toddler slide into the pool and she jumps off of it and lands on her butt in the water. 

She appears to have gotten her dad's sense of direction. She knew we were at the doctor's office from the parking lot after only having been there one time. When we drive by it in the highway she tells us that that's the doctor. She saw a receipt from the hospital with the hospital logo on the top and she told me it was from the doctor. She also knows Walmart receipts are from Walmart. And that we are at Walmart. She loves McDonald's. She always asks for fries and chicken nuggets and water. I don't get her pop because I don't want that spilled in the car. And because I love that she loves water. She loves dinosaur chicken nuggets from Costco and so do I. I ate them for lunch today and they were delicious. I want to eat them every day but I don't. 

She sees me working out and she tries to copy me and it's adorable and hilarious. She was doing burpees the other day and she said "this is fun!" She said the same thing when I was showing her how to stretch afterwards. Maybe we need to get out more😁 We definitely need to get out more, we never really go anywhere other than the doctor's office. In a few weeks I'm thinking that I'll get a gym membership it Kennewick. It's over 45 minutes away, but I'm thinking I'll go 2 times a week and then work out at home the other days. Then I can get back into shape and also get to know the staff there and hopefully get hired to teach again by the fall. Quinn will love going to the kids klub again. I hope. I loved taking her to the kids klub in Pocatello because I knew everyone there and I trusted them. It seems like a long way to drive for a workout but what else are we going to do? We get pretty bored being here all the time and it will be nice for all of us to get out of the house. I can't wait to go to a GGX class again. Maybe that seems weird to some if you but it's something that I love and I've discovered that I really miss it. A lot. 

So here's to finding a new normal and learning some more patience. It will probably get harder with every kid. I really didn't think being a mom was hard when I only had Quinn except for the first few months and then again when I potty trained her. That sucked. That's another blog post though. 

Jameson's Birth Story

Warning: I use words like cervix, plug, poop, and pee. Don't read this if you don't want to know about those things!

This pregnancy was similar to my last one, my blood pressure started to creep up around 35-36 weeks. It had been kind of high the whole time, around 130s/70s. At the end it was closer to 140s/80s. Not super high, but even a small increase like that can be a symptom of preeclampsia. At 37 weeks they checked my urine for protein and there was a trace amount, which is normal but it still freaked me out a little. My doctor told me to go check my blood pressure at a pharmacy and see if I just had anxiety at the doctors office. I had told him that thinking about having a baby was stressing me out. He also wanted me to get an ultrasound to check on the size of the baby, he said if my baby was too big I might not be able to attempt a vaginal birth. 🙄 I almost didn't get the ultrasound because they are notorious for being bad at predicting baby's actual size. Then I thought about the fact that my doctor would be doing extra work during my delivery watching for a rupture and if an ultrasound would make him feel better than I should do it. I just didn't want a supposedly big baby to be a reason not to attempt a normal delivery. 

Anyways, I went to Walmart a few days later and mg blood pressure was like 153/97. Over the next few days I really started to stress. I was having headaches and I felt like my eyes were pulsing, which are symptoms of preeclampsia. My labor with Quinn was induced because of high blood pressure after I refused to take beta-blockers, so I thought that my blood pressure was damaging my baby somehow. Or that I was having organ failure somewhere in my body and that we both might die. The doctor had checked me for dilation at my last appointment and I wasn't dilated at all, my cervix was high and not very soft. I was convinced that I would just have to schedule another c-section. I was ok with it, because I felt more in control of the situation this time and ultimately I just wanted my baby to get here safely. I called the nurse and told her about my headaches and she told me to go into labor & delivery and have them just check my blood pressure. We got there and they took it a few times while they had me hooked up to the monitors to listen to the baby. It was high when I first got there but then went back down to 130s/80s. They called my doctor and he had them do a blood test to check my platelets and make sure my liver was functioning normally, just in case. They also checked my urine again. There was no protein and my liver was fine. 

I had my ultrasound at 38 weeks and they told me my baby was 8 lbs. And that his head was measuring two weeks bigger than normal. I asked Kelly to come with me to my next appointment because I thought that my doctor would want to discuss a c section since my blood pressure was high and I might have a big baby. If you've had a c-section, then inductions are more risky. So unless I was dilated and soft, he wouldn't induce me. At that appointment he told me that it doesn't hurt me or the baby to have high blood pressure for a few weeks, as long as that's all that it is. And since I'd had those tests done and my organs were functioning fine we knew I didn't have preeclampsia. And I was dilated to a 2 at this apt so my hopes for a normal delivery were back! He told me if I had those symptoms again to come in though because they are textbook for preeclampsia. I was pretty surprised since the only reason I was induced last time was because I had high blood pressure. 

If you want to read about that horrible experience, Quinn's birth story is on this blog. I was induced at 39 weeks and I was dilated 0 cm, my cervix was high and hard. ACOG says that inducing under those conditions increases the risk for a c-section, and I had a c-section. The doctor who did my c-section told me I had a small pelvis, and that I had a 13% chance of having a successful vbac. Not sure where that number came from. On top of being a crappy candidate for an induction, Quinn was positioned posterior. I have since read that 40% of posterior babies get stuck. I believed that the induction and bad positioning were what had lead to my c-section, not a small pelvis. 

Anyways, after my apt I was super crampy, which is normal after you've had a cervical check. I was kind of excited though. I stayed really crampy for two days and the next morning I lost what I thought was part of my plug. I had lots of Braxton-hicks contractions over the next week. I was hopeful for my next check up that I'd be dilated further. I had an apt scheduled for May 11th. On May 10th, around 10:15 I got out of bed to go to the bathroom. As I was walking back to my bed I felt something come out. I thought I had lost more of my plug but I didn't have my glasses on so I went and grabbed them and then went back to the bathroom. My underwear was soaked, my water had broke. But I wasn't sure if it was a break or just a small leak. I sat on the toilet and called my doula and more water came out. She said that the baby might be plugging the hole stopping more water from coming out, or it might just be a leak. Since I wasn't having any strong contractions she told me to just put a pad on and try to get some sleep. So I put on a pad and I soaked it within seconds. My water was definitely broke. I texted my mom and told her what was going on. She asked if I wanted her to come and I told her to just try and sleep and that I'd call her when labor started. But then I got nervous because I was cramping and sometimes people don't feel really strong contractions and then
all of a sudden their baby is coming out so I told her to come. I lay back down in bed and tried to fall       asleep and let Kelly keep sleeping. But then I kept thinking about how we lived 45 minutes from the

hospital and what if this baby came out in the car. Or what if I had a uterine rupture in the car and then we died. So I woke Kelly up around midnight and told him that my water broke. He said "really?!" I said "yeah" and he goes "ok... Where did it happen?" We had just been talking about my water breaking that night before we went to bed and how it would be gross if it broke on the couch or something. I told him it happened in the bathroom and that it didn't even get on the floor. 

So we got up and grabbed some stuff to take with us. He put Quinn in the car and we took off. The car was out of gas so we had to stop. I was timing my contractions but they weren't regular. At first they were 9 mi Utes apart, then 5, 3, 4. They were pretty strong but not bad. He dropped me off at the front doors and I walked in and told them my water had broke but that I really needed to pee. They wouldn't let me because they were afraid I would have the baby in the bathroom. That did not happen. 

They put me in a wheelchair and took me to my room. I went to the bathroom and while I was in there I had a really hard contraction and I freaked out and called my doula and asked her to come right away. I had told her before that I would let her try and sleep until things picked up. They got me hooked up to everything and while I was sitting in the bed my contractions stopped but I was still really nervous and I was glad Melanie (my doula) was there. She put a heat pad on my back to help me relax. I was dilated to a 4 which is technically active labor but nothing was really happening. We went for a few walks, they had a thing I could hang around my neck that would pick up his heart rate and send it back to the computer. They assured me throughout the whole labor that they were constantly watching him to make sure there hadn't been a rupture. I sat on the birthing ball, got into a deep squat a few times, still things weren't picking up. Around 4:00 a.m. I took a little nap. I was tired from being up all night. I kind of hoped that I was just one of those lucky people that didn't feel their contractions. They checked me and I hadn't dilated at all and baby had moved back up. I was ok with that because it wasn't like I had been laboring hard that whole time.

My doctor came in around 8:00 and said "alright, it's been 10 hours, let's make something happen." They put an internal monitor in me because they thought maybe the other one just wasn't picking up my contractions. My doctor and the nurses and all of us just sat there and watched the monitors for ten minutes and I didn't have any contractions. So we started pitocin. They told me they would increase the amount every 1/2 hour. I was kind of nervous because pitocin increased my risk of rupture from 1% to 2%. But they assured me that they were constantly watching the monitors, and the
 Dr. Smith was even watching in his office. Right away, things picked up. My favorite position for labor was standing up and leaning over the bed. Actually, I really liked sitting on the birthing ball but the baby didn't so I couldn't stay like that. As things picked up, Melanie would push on my back during the contractions. Kelly watched the monitor and told me what the numbers were saying, which I liked because I knew when I had peaked and then that the contraction was ending.

They checked me again around 11:30 or 12 and I was at a 5 and the baby was high. I started crying because my contractions had gotten so much more intense during the last three hours but I'd only dilated 1 cm. I was afraid it would be just like last time and that it wasn't going to work again. Also I was tired. I stood up again for awhile and Melanie and Kelly would push my hips together. If it hadn't been for them doing that, I would have probably asked for an epidural at that point. Counter pressure is so helpful during contractions. Around 1:00 they had me lay down so they could check me again. I was at a 6. So I had dilated 1 cm in the last hour. They said that the baby really liked it when I laid on my side so they wanted me to stay there. Laying on my side hurt so much worse during the contractions. The pain radiated over a much bigger area and I hated it. Melanie told me it was good to lay down for a bit though because it can help the baby get into a better position. She put the heat pack under my hip and she pushed on my back and Kelly pushed on my other hip during the contractions. It still sucked. I wish there would have been two heat packs. I started to shake pretty bad in my hips and legs. They told me it was normal. After probably 30-40 minutes things were really picking up and I was dying. I gave in to the pain and had a hard time breathing through the contractions. I yelled out during some of them. I asked for fentanyl which did nothing. Well, Melanie told me it helped me relax but I was expecting some pain relief. At one point I decided that I cousins breathe through them  anymore and I was crying and yelling and also hyperventilating. They checked me and I was at an 8 and baby was at +1. I didn't care that I was close I asked for an epidural. I felt like my cervix was ripping apart. They told me I had to calm down or they wouldn't be able to give me one. The nurse said that the anesthesiologist was walking down the hall. My next contraction I was pushing. Then I really started to freak out. I did not want to push that baby out. I was terrified. I started hyperventilating again. The doctor came in along with a bunch of other people. They told me to grab my legs and tuck my chin and curl around the baby to push him out. I didn't want to because I felt like he would pop right out. I asked them to turn off the pitocin and they told me that they had. I pushed a few times and I remember the nurse constantly in my face telling me to calm down, she said the baby needed oxygen and he wouldn't get any if I didn't breathe. The doctor pulled out a vacuum and said we would need a little help getting him out because his heart rate was dropping. I finally
calmed down enough to grab my legs and push like I needed to and I felt him coming down. For some reason I felt a little more relaxed and I didn't push with each contraction like I was supposed to. The doctor asked me if I was having one and when I said yes he said I needed to push. Oh. I pushed again and his head was out. I thought that was the worst part but they said that the worst part would be his shoulders coming out. Duh I don't know why I thought that. I pushed his shoulders out and then his body slid out. That was a really weird feeling. The doctor asked Kelly if he wanted to cut the cord and I asked if they could delay it, and they were like uhh not when your baby isn't breathing. I asked if he would be ok and they said yes, no one seemed worried. The nurses took him and a few seconds later I heard him crying. Then I felt the doctor holding a tray up to me and telling me to push out the placenta. I felt like I was going to poop so I didn't want to push because I was afraid I would poop in the tray and I told them that, and they just said that was good and to push. I didn't poop and the placenta came out.

 Then they had to stitch me up because I'd had an episiotomy. I also tore a little on the inside. Getting stitched up was horrible. They numbed me, it's not like I felt the needle going in and out or anything, but everything hurt down there so bad I did not want anyone touching me. I was shaking really bad. Also, why do people say that a shot is going to feel like a pinch? When was the last time someone punched you, did you think it felt like a needle going in your body? Anyways, it seemed like forever that they were stitching me up. They gave me more fentanyl to try and help me relax because I was so tense. They also brought my baby to me thinking that would distract me. I was glad that he was ok but I was still feeling really overwhelmed to pay much attention to him for awhile. Once they were done and they gave some ice to put down there I was much better. He was born at 2:05 pm.

I was really scared to go pee for the first time, because everyone talked about how it stings afterwards. It wasn't that bad. It hurt to move around for the first day but I could do so much more then I could after my c-section. I loved being able to walk, sit up, roll over, and stand up all by myself. The recovery alone made it all worth it. I am also thankful I was able to avoid another c-section.

I loved giving birth at Trios hospital. The nurses were angels. They spent so much time with me did so much. I can't believe the things that they do all in a day's work. I loved my doctor. He was laid back but I trusted him to do the right thing when needed. I never felt worried about our safety while I was in labor. Also, the food was delicious. I'm so thankful that everything turned out the way that it did.